Surely not I…

Today is spywedWednesday of Holy Week–Holy Wednesday, or, as I prefer, “Spy Wednesday.”

Those who know me know that Lent, and in particular Holy Week and the Triduum, are my favorite time of the Liturgical calendar. I think this is because of my tendency toward the melancholic. Also, if done correctly, it has the best, most heart-rending, beautiful music of the year…

I love “Spy Wednesday.” I’m sure it stems from my background in literature. No one could create a character like Judas Iscariot without divine inspiration. But beyond the great “character” Judas turns out to be, and beyond his “storyline,” he is also a key figure
–or should be– for each of us with regard to our own salvation.

How many times do we, post-lapsarian men and women that we are, sin and convince ourselves that what we did wasn’t all that bad, that everyone does it, that Jesusilver-coins-judas-money-450x338s loves me no matter what I do (which is true, but there are rules and consequences to sin), or that we can still receive Holy Communion with the stain of sin on our souls? How many times do we mock God, hurt Jesus, disappoint the Holy Spirit with our actions or inaction? How many times do we, like Judas, gamble with our very souls by trading what should be an overwhelming love for our Lord for whatever cheap, greasy pieces of silver the culture throws at us?

How many times does the Lord turn to us pained because of our offenses, from the wounds we have inflicted upon Him, and all we have to say is, “Surely not I!”

Tomorrow begins the Triduum, the Passion of the Lord. Reflect on it. Reflect on yourself. Make the most of this most glorious and blessed Holy Week so that when your time comes you can look at Jesus and say, “No. Not I, Lord.”

 

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